Bullies Revisited.

Recently, the State of New Jersey initiated a new Anti-Bullying policy primarily in response to a suicide at Rutgers approximately one year ago.  Bullying tactics have changed drastically since the schoolyard bullies of my childhood, and the approach taken by educators must adapt to include new venues and tactics used by one child to intimidate another. The failure of previous initiatives is obvious; we wouldn’t need a new one if prior methods of dealing with bullying succeeded.

New Jersey’s program ends when an individual leaves the public education system.  Once in the workplace there are no initiatives, yet bullies still exist (another point for the failure of previous approaches).  In my experience, they’re women but I’m certain there are adult men bullying their coworkers and subordinates in offices across the country.  Just google “adult bullies” if you doubt that they’re real and out in force.  Yet there’s no equivalent to a guidance counselor or discipline officer in the workplace to step in, counsel, and alert the powers that be.

The new law incorporates an advantage available to adults for years but new to underage victims of bullying.  If the bullying can be documented, it can be turned over to superiors and in many cases, local police.  While difficult to establish a pattern, most bullies young and old don’t realize what can be captured on the internet, the virtual schoolyard of the 21st century. Can victims record search terms used to locate them online? Definitely.  View vicious social media posts? Certainly.  Unfortunately, adults are left on their own to figure this out and are usually not as net savvy as their kids.

While working on my Masters degree and Guidance Certification, a professor restated what my mother told my sister and I all those years ago. Both women observed that the bully is basically unhappy.  My mother told us we should be sorry for bullies because their only path to happiness was through the unhappiness and misfortunes of others.  This was tough for kids to hear, and I remember thinking that this really wasn’t any help at the time.  My mother, good Christian woman that she is, probably never had much trouble with bullies and was always able to forgive.  My sister and I have yet to live up to her example, but I know in my own case I at least heard her when she told us to walk away when faced with a bully.

I do hope this newest Anti-Bullying program is more successful than those of the past including the well meaning advice of my professor and mother.  Most students at the high school where I teach appear much more tolerant of their peers than we ever did at their age.  Perhaps the combination of raised tolerance and knowing the implications of bullying for both bully and victim will ensure that today’s teenagers don’t encounter tomorrow’s bullies online and in the workplace.  I also hope that if they do, they are better equipped than we were to deal with this type of abuse and intimidation, and those in power that they look to for assistance are ready and willing to do for them as adults what teachers, counselors and adminstrators are required to do by law for them as children.