My Drunk Vegan Kitchen

Last spring, quite a few friends forwarded to me the link to My Drunk Kitchen.  Some said she looked like me, others said she cooked like me, but I’d like to set things straight, right here, right now.

I cook vegan, and while I would love nothing more than to whip up a vegan dinner dressed like Mario, I’m a public school teacher. If I had a contract, somewhere in said contract would be a section stating that, as a school employee, I’m prohibited from having the type of fun Hannah has in her kitchen, vegan or no, and posting it online.  A sub-clause of this section would prohibit me from showing anyone where my “Noms At” (which is a good thing since my version would probably be a progressive rock instrumental).

My grandmother, also a public school employee, had no such restrictions. As the “Cafeteria Supervisor” (aka Head Lunch Lady), Grandma cooked with lard in an asbestos insulated kitchen then went home to a tall G&T (and, no, that didn’t mean “gifted and talented”).  She lived for 98 fun filled years, danced into the wee hours of the morning at her town wide 90th birthday party, could never cook any dish for less than 100 people, and introduced the family to Saturday Night Live, Dan Aykroyd’s Bass-o-Matic being a real favorite.

I am her namesake, and take this honor seriously.

Over the years, I’ve attempted to make a number of her recipes vegan and remained fairly sober while doing so.  Yesterday afternoon after I dropped the boy off at drum lessons, I strolled through my local Foodtown wondering what I should make for dinner.  Standing in the produce section, it hit me: why not veganize one of Grandma’s “church casseroles”!  This might be a concept only known in the midwest, but church casseroles are the staple of every potluck in every church basement from Pennsylvania to Idaho.  While I don’ t know this for sure, I think this one was probably created during the lean times of either the Depression or World War II because it uses very inexpensive fall ingredients and no meat.  Yes, Grandma did dip into her “lard can” to add fat and bacony goodness to her version, but I’ve substituted olive oil in my vegan kitchen version.  You can also substitute squash for the sweet potato, but it’s not the classic Grandma recipe without the neon 60s version of this root vegetable!

Grandma’s Fall Church Casserole
1 decent sized sweet potato cut into 1/2″ chunks
1 can small white beans
1 red pepper cut into approximately 1″ pieces
1 green pepper cut into approximately 1″ pieces
1/2 a red onion cut into 1″ chunks then separated
3 tomatoes (plum work well but not required) cut into 1″ chunks
6-8 garlic cloves sliced depending how much you like garlic
salt
a heavy hand with the black pepper
1/3 cup olive oil
1/2 loaf day old italian or other large loaf of bread
fresh rosemary
fresh thyme
garlic salt

Preheat your oven to 375 degrees. Throw all the vegetables into a big bowl, add olive oil and mix. Add salt and pepper. Grandma placed it all in a 300 lb iron pan but we in the 21st century can place all this in a 12″ x 2″ x 8″ pyrex dish. Bake for 1 hour.

Pour yourself that G&T and settle in for a bit.  Watch your favorite Bravo show on the DVR.

About 50 minutes later (right before Padma tells one of the chefs to pack their knives and go), make the bread into breadcrumbs (food processor, blender, hands, whatever). Add 2-3 tablespoons olive oil, a decent amount of chopped fresh rosemary and thyme and a pinch of garlic salt. Mix it all together.

Refresh your G&T.

Take the casserole out of the oven. Sprinkle the breadcrumb mixture over the top of the veggies. Place back in the oven for 10 more minutes.  Go see who the judges kicked off this week.

Finish your G&T.

Take casserole out of the oven and wait 10 minutes to eat. Set the table, find your kid, feed the dog, put the laundry in the dryer, then come back to the kitchen. Place servings on plates, grab your laptop, cue up an old episode of SNL, and enjoy!