Let’s Do Lunch!

I know, I haven’t been as faithful to the whole #reverb11 challenge this year, but I try to responsed to those prompts that inspire an immediate blog post.  Today’s was such a one:

Lets do lunch! - If you could have lunch with anybody, who would it be and what would you like to discuss?

As much as I’d love to lunch with @aplayfulday, @caithnesscraft, and even @hoxtonhandmade if she’d have me, I know if I only had one chance to choose a lunch companion, it would have to be an author.  The prompt didn’t say living so for about 30 seconds I flipped through my list of favorite authors over the centuries, but as much as I loved the novels of every author I thought of, I didn’t think any of them would be much fun at lunch.  Austen? probably order a salad, pick at it, and stare longingly at some emo dude at the bar.  Wharton? she’d make snarky remarks about the other diners, torture the wait staff, and tweet about the rich people she’d be hanging with later.  Kurt Vonnegut? He’d walk in, remember he yelled at me for eating m&ms during a talk he gave at Rutgers back my undergraduate days, yell at me again then storm out. Pynchon? Yea, talk about a no show. Hunter S. Thomson? Doubt I’d keep my day job as a public school teacher after a that lunch.  Rushdie? Doubt I’d let him say anything before I gave him what for about leaving his first wife who went through that whole fatwa thing with him for Padma who’s really too good for him anyway.

As I crossed each possibility off my mental list, I knew who I would ask even before I reached his name.  If I could ask anyone to lunch for a lively discussion it would have to be @JohnBirmingham.  While I would love to discover why his newest book, Angels of Vengeance isn’t out yet in America(he better bring me an advance copy since I’m paying) and what really caused the wave, I’m inviting him because I wish

• I had to have lawyers (yes, more than one) vet my blog,
• Raised a killing machine rather than a princess who’s currently on car 3 at the age of 19,
• Knew what the heck a blue belt was and was actually capable of earning one,
• Thought of a productive use for the British monarchy (and maybe the US Congress while he’s at it), and among other things
• Hosted #holidaysbydad with The Holy Grail and a plethora of video games.

(Ok, that last one I actually did a couple of times in my role as mom but never with champagne or martinis.)

John Birmingham’s books, blogs, and tweets make him the perfect companion for my #reverb11 lunch.  Of course, I’m sure he’d order 4 courses of meat, at least one glass of bacon flavored alcohol, and a dairy laden dessert while simultaneously skewering everything vegan including my compassionate quiche … but that’s EXACTLY why I want to dine with the man.  Where’s the fun in dining with the politically, emotionally, and gastronomically correct?  I’ll have way more fun with a man who wiped out most of America in his latest trilogy and refers fondly to “thinkin’ whiskey’ in his tweets.

Who knows? Maybe over a spruce flavored gin martini I’ll convince him to pass on the cheese course!